Finding the Gift in Our Pains and Struggles
Updated: Dec 5, 2022
Let's talk about finding the blessings and gifts out of the challenges and difficult things we face in life. But before I get into that, I want to share a powerful insight I heard the other day:
“The pains in our life, the struggles in our life, help us clarify and further define who we want, and what we most desire in our life” – Abraham Hicks
Hearing that had me pause for a second, because I realized just how important it is to go through the struggles and through the pain. After all, it is something we all go through. We go through some pain and life gets a little better…and then the next thing comes, and the next challenge and the next struggle. On the surface, we know this is true but sometimes we need to be reminded that the pain, the struggle, the strife, and the trauma are all a part of a circle. It is a necessary part of our lives and our evolution.
There is no good without bad. You need to experience both to understand and contextualize the other. Times of strife are what move us to the next phase of our lives more so than times of pleasure. Pleasure comes when we are able to relax, we enjoy, and we marinate in it.
Photo by Caique Nascimento on Unsplash
The pain, the strife, the difficult times…those are things that wake us up. Those are the things that move us or shift us in Such. Powerful. Ways.
The thing is, sometimes we let those challenges that we go through defeat us and bring us down. We let it cause suffering when all we need to do is make a little switch and reframe the situation.
When we are going through times of struggle, we often internalize it and blame ourselves (me, too!) and say things like:
What am I doing wrong?
Why am I struggling with this?
Why is this happening to me?
I’m a failure.
I’m not meant to do this.
Blah blah blah blah blah…and all of that is bullshit.
Those are the stories we’ve been conditioned to tell ourselves to try to make it more palatable. We don’t need to tell ourselves negative things like that. Negative statements make going through whatever it is that you’re going through that much more challenging.
What if you were able to allow yourself to tell a different story?
You don’t have to think in such a self-defeating way. You don’t have to internalize this and think, “What’s wrong with me?” or “What am I doing wrong?”
There’s nothing wrong with you. You just need to shift your perspective.
When life gets rough, think about how the pain, the struggle right here and now is moving you to something powerful. It is moving you to something better. Ask yourself, “What’s the gift in this for me? Where’s the blessing in this?”
What if we shifted our thoughts to look at that? Imagine how differently we would go through the experience for ourselves. Imagine the different thoughts and actions we might have when we think that way.
What if you gave yourself permission to take care of yourself instead of suffering and struggling and letting things get worse.
We get to choose.
I went through a time, a few years back, where my dad was going through a medical challenge, and I was focusing on helping him. Instead of doing what I did with my mother when she was sick – which was give over my entire life and struggle – I was able to let go and recognize that it was a difficult time at that moment, but there was a blessing to be found from it.
I got to choose for myself how I wanted to go through that experience.
I decided to learn my lesson from before and remember to take care of myself as well as my dad. I got to learn what that meant to take care of my mental and physical health, and everything else in the space of strife.
Once I did that, I got to choose to show up for myself. I got to choose to think that I’m doing the best for myself. Because I did that, I made it so.
It was amazing how the experience shifted, knowing I was doing the best I could do. I truly felt I was doing a great job, showing up as best as I could instead of feeling sorry for myself and thinking that I couldn’t do it.
Photo by Ekaterina Shevchenko on Unsplash
How can you shift your pains?
How can you shift in a time of strife and know there is a blessing here for you? It may not feel like that at that moment, but allow yourself to get transported to the future. Allow yourself to stop thinking negatively and instead, allow yourself to feel the gift of how this is moving through you and for you into the future. Because it is.
When you allow yourself to think that way and feel through it, it shifts completely.
How do you move through the struggles?
We are all going to struggle at some point. We don’t have to just move through them; we can allow them to move through us. Because, guess what…it’s coming through no matter what! There is stuff happening in our lives that we need to shift and let go of, such as;
Letting go of people
Releasing things that don’t serve us
Releasing bad habits
The gift in releasing things is that it gets rid of stuff that no longer serves you and makes it possible to see what’s important.
As a society, we’ve been focusing on a whole bunch of stuff that isn’t important at all. All those moments of worry allow us to change or shift, and just move in different ways. That’s my invitation to you.
Remember, it’s not always just about getting rid of the bad.
We can get back to the good, but there are blessings in the strife. There are blessings in the storm. Allow yourself to receive the blessing of the storm. Don’t let it shut you down. Allow yourself to grow, expand, and remember who you are. Get clarified. Understand just how amazing you are. How powerful you are. How gifted and anointed you are for what you are called to bring into this world.
Sometimes those storms will swirl just to wipe it out so that you can keep moving forward.
What storms are you going through? Where and how can you shift your thinking and reframe your situation? Tell me in the comments below!
Sending big love!