Updated: May 22
Relationships are one of the most powerful things that we exist in. They are pervasive and exist in everything. If you think about it, we’re always in a relationship with everyone...whether we want to be in one or not!
There are 4 types of relationships:
Even just engaging with strangers is a form of a relationship! You see, we are put here on this earth as a calling to love and expand our understanding of how we relate to one another and ourselves.
Relationships can be empowering, motivating, and inspiring for us because we all want that human connection. However, the flip side of that is when those relationships become unhealthy for us, are no longer positive, tear us apart and drain the energy out of us in a deep way.
It’s important to be able to stop and take inventory to understand how the relationship is going and how it is affecting you.
Ask yourself the following questions:
What relationships do I have that are flowing and going well that I want to continue to sow those seeds with?
What relationships do I need to pause so that I can do some work to make the relationship better?
So often, we try and avoid the relationships that don’t work because they drain our energy from us, but it is so important that we take the time to deal with and learn from those relationships.
Working on Difficult Relationships
Ask yourself, “Do I need to keep this relationship going? Does it have potential? Is it worth working on?”
If the answer is yes, then you need to think about what it will take to turn a negative relationship into a positive one.
Are you putting the appropriate amount of time and energy into it? Are you giving the relationship what is needed to grow and thrive?
One of the most powerful things I’ve learned in relationships is that it’s so easy to look at all the things that the other person is doing wrong. We often start making a mental list of those things and that isn’t healthy.
Every single one of those things you have on that list could be reflected in you. Put up a mirror to your own actions in the relationship and ask yourself,
What am I doing to contribute to this relationship?
What am I doing that might trigger this person to do those negative things?
What about me? Am I doing anything negative toward this relationship?
Relationships are a Gift
The thing that’s so amazing about relationships is that it is truthfully the best opportunity to have a deeper understanding of our souls and ourselves.
The truth is, the relationships that give us the most trouble, are triggering and sometimes toxic, are the best opportunity to learn how to heal ourselves and grow both mentally and spiritually. They are a gift and when we start looking at them as a gift for growth it will change everything.
Growth happens in multiple ways. Look at your relationship and ask yourself:
Is it time for you to learn how to cut things off and let things go where it’s not needed?
Do you need to learn how to be vulnerable, break down those walls, and show your true soft, scared, and vulnerable side to allow people to connect in those deeper ways?
Would you rather tuck the difficult things away and not deal with them and learn how to just have the tough conversations again and again?
I guarantee you there is a gift in those challenging relationships that is asking for you to rise above. It is critical to do so because of what’s waiting on the other side, whether it’s waiting for an amazing, improved relationship with that person or it’s waiting to clear that person for something else, or just waiting for you to rise and grow and heal those parts of you that might be triggering in that relationship so you can go to the next.
Relationships are golden. Even when you find yourself in a bad relationship, it’s a golden opportunity for you. My invitation for you is to step into that, to lean into the gift of what’s there to go there for yourself and to grow there with yourself.