“Even when we fall short of what we want to do and who we want to be in that moment, in the circumstances, with what we had, we did the best that we could. And that deserves love, and that deserves forgiveness, and that deserves you embracing you.” – Zuri Walker
Why are completion and feeling complete so important?
Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash
We're all going through cycles in life where we have beginnings, middles, and ends. When your mind, body, and spirit do not feel complete, there are those parts of you that are constantly trying to come to completion. When you are stuck in this cycle it makes it really challenging to start new things and bring new things into your life.
What is Completion?
One of the simple completions that we celebrate is ending and living through another year (happy birthday to you!). But closing out a year is important too. It is inevitable. There will always be challenges or things that we are going to face. And most of the time, we feel like we are so ready to be done. We just want to kick and push it aside and leave it and start the New Year.
But first, ask yourself these questions: Have you really left the year behind you? Are you feeling complete?
We need to feel that completion right now so that we can effectively close out this year and get ready for the next. By doing that, you create an energetic space that allows you to bring in the new.
Often, we try to bring in new things but it seems like it just doesn’t stick. Why? Because we are filled with stuff and gunk and challenges and emotional things that we haven’t dealt with.
Your body is a vessel. When we’re filled, there's no room to bring in the rest of the stuff. So, when you take the time to come to completion, you are excavating and making room so that you will have the ability to absorb the good stuff that is coming.
You need to take time to make room and allow your body, mind, and soul to come to completion for the year. How do you do that?
To help yourself come to completion you need to ask yourself the following questions:
Where do I still feel incomplete from last year?
What needs to happen to feel complete?
What’s blocking me from feeling complete?
Grab your journals, take a deep breath, and let’s dive in further.
Remember: It’s important to give yourself permission to feel stuff that doesn’t feel good so that you can work through it and come out a better, more complete person.
Where Do I Still Feel Incomplete from Last Year?
You must recognize and allow yourself to feel the challenges brought by not achieving completion. Take a moment and ask yourself what three areas in your life you don’t feel complete in. This can be three things you wanted to do but didn’t get a chance to do, or anything where you don’t feel complete. Write them down in your journal.
Take a moment to look over that list of things and allow yourself to feel any emotions you might have about them. What challenges were brought into your life because you didn’t complete those things?
To dig deeper into what you feel incomplete about ask yourself these questions:
What will allow you to feel complete?
What do you need to do to get there?
What are the other steps you need to take that you didn't take?
Is there someone you need to speak to that you need to speak your truth about?
What is it that you need to do to feel complete?
What Needs to Happen to Feel Complete?
So far, you’ve acknowledged where you feel incomplete, you’ve then taken a hard look at the affect that has had on your life, what the incomplete feels like, and what you need to do to make it feel complete.
The next thing you need to do to make that completion happen is to ask yourself:
What is blocking you from completing the things I feel incomplete about?
What kept me from doing it this year?
Be honest with yourself and don’t come up with excuses. This is the time to do the powerful work, be honest with yourself about what is blocking you.
Spoiler alert: It is usually something within us that keeps us from reaching completion.
Yes, life happens but when it comes to the important things, you need to understand what it is about you that needs to take ownership. I know that can be hard to think about but we need to see the hard truths so we can work with them.
The question is, what do you do with those parts for you to feel whole?
Once you’ve figured out what needs to be done, you then need to figure out the obstacle that’s blocking you from doing that thing that will make those incomplete parts complete.
What’s Blocking You from Feeling Complete?
Achieving that feeling of completion requires you to be honest with yourself. We are great at coming up with excuses and stories. Being honest and acknowledging the thing that really blocks you is key for you to feel complete.
Are you willing to forgive yourself for this incompletion?
Are you willing to forgive yourself for whatever didn’t happen?
Are you willing to forgive others or yourself for not forgiving someone else?
If the answer is yes, take a moment right now, and do that. Forgive yourself.
Photo by Simon HUMLER on Unsplash
Close your eyes, take a breath, and send yourself some love. Acknowledge that no matter what it was that happened, whatever the truth is behind that, it’s ok. Feel that you did do your best no matter if you fell short of what you wanted to do and who you wanted to be in that moment and circumstance. You did the best that you could with what you had. That deserves love and forgiveness and you embracing you.
Step outside of yourself, look back, and ask: How might this be a gift? What might be the good from why this didn’t get completed this year?
Wait a second…feel into those questions.
Maybe the timing wasn’t right? Maybe you weren’t quite set up right? Maybe you were going in the wrong direction? Take some time to look at what the gift might be from not coming to completion in that area.
Even if it didn’t happen, you can still come to completion and feel closure because there was a gift for you in how it happened. Close out all those missing and incomplete pieces from the year from an emotional perspective and let it go so that you can get clear to move forward into the new year. This is how you can get completion.
To recap, you need to:
Get clear with what those things are that you are still feeling incomplete about.
Look at what really kept you from completing them.
As yourself why and think about what those things were that you needed to do to complete it.
Forgive yourself and then find the gift in it.
Once you find the gift and the blessing, you will be able to feel complete about it.
And finally…release it. Release the burden and negativity that surrounded the incomplete task or goal. Give yourself that gift.
I’m sending you big love and closure and I can’t wait to see you when we get clear!