Can we talk about a powerful, yet sometimes sensitive topic? How are you getting in your own way?
When we think about why we aren’t creating the life that we most desire, it’s so easy to blame external circumstances as the reason. But we’ve also got to look at the role we play in blocking our blessings and blocking our potential to create great, amazing lives.
Photo by Ian Kiragu on Unsplash
Here’s the thing - you are an amazing and powerful creator. Most of us don’t realize just how powerful we are (it took me a long time to realize this for myself). But once you realize that you have the potential to create amazing things, you realize you must also take ownership and responsibility for how you contribute to what you don’t want in life.
Here’s an example of how I was getting in my own way. I realized many years ago that I wanted to serve women by helping them change their lives as a transformational coach. Even after completing my training, I kept delaying starting my coaching business. I told myself I needed to master my trade and study more, I needed to save more money, get more of my business plan ready. I had a long list of ‘more to do’s’, but what all I was really doing was getting in the way of my soul’s calling and slowing myself down. It was just me!
So what does it take for you to get out of your own way?
First, we’ve got to see our stories for what they are - just plain stories. Another way to put it… you’ve got to call bullshit on yourself!
Recognize that the stories we tell ourselves aren’t always true. The way you do that is just stop, witness the story, and ask, “Is this true? Is this actually true?” Be real honest with yourself and explore each of the excuses you’re telling yourself and truly examine if these stories are real. You would be amazed at the lies we tell ourselves cloaked in great disguises! It doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you a real person… a real person trying to avoid certain deeper truths.
We tell ourselves stories because we’re not ready to see the deeper truth. We say we need more knowledge or education to take a leap of faith because we’re not ready to admit that we’re scared shitless and are afraid to fall flat on our face (I know I was). Give yourself permission to uncover your true, scary feelings. Invariably, there’s something we’re afraid of. There’s some fear in there. “What if I fail? What if why reject me? What if no one comes? What if it doesn’t work?”
Facing your fears
In order to face these fears and move through it, you need to do two things. First, consider the ABSOLUTE worst possible scenario of your fear. Second, surrender and deal with accepting this as a possibility. Deal with whatever the worst possible “what if” is, because that’s where you get empowered! That’s where you get to deal with reality from a different space. Think it through! “Well, what IF I fail? What IF I fall flat on my face? What if it doesn’t work? What if the business doesn’t work? What will that say about me, my potential, and who I am?”
From this space, ask yourself, well, if that happens, would I do next? Once you consider the worst possible outcome and see a path forward from that, then everything else is gravy! Because the likelihood of the WORST possible scenario happening is low, which makes everything else is a positive!
Lastly, ask yourself, "If I don’t get out of my own way, what is the cost I pay having never fully tried or committed to that which I desire?" I bet that the cost you have been paying (and will continue to pay) is not worth taking the risk and facing your fears.
For me and launching my coaching business, my greatest fear was completely failing, losing all my money, no longer having my successful consulting business to go back to, and being seen as a failure for having tried and not been successful. When I worked it through and realized that if all that happened I still wouldn’t wind up dead or on the streets (I did say WORST possible scenario), then I felt more free and willing to take the risk! I could see where I was BS’ing myself and started facing my real truths and fears. I also made the empowered decision to get out of my own way and set a launch date, which I did!
Let me tell you, facing that fear and getting out of my own way to take a leap of faith has been SO WORTH IT! Added benefit, I’ve grown stronger in being able to continue to face my fears (they don’t go away) and keep trying, even when I do fall down (and trust me, I still fall down!). But after each stumble and fall, I take a breath (or two), get back up, and keep going.
I promise you, the journey is worth it!