Updated: May 29
“We all have our little moments of losing it because these are some stressful times.”
I finally had the time to write about what we should definitely take into account, especially nowadays. We need to talk about our mental, physical, and emotional health. Today I would like to talk about some of the most important things you need to know about self-care – How it should be done, how to keep doing it, and how to do it better.
Self-care is something that I’ve always treasured. I believe it’s something we need and must have. However, a lot of people (especially women) push it to the back burner and only deal with it when we have time and space. Are you one of those women? It could be because you have so much going on with your life. You could be too busy providing your services, giving love and support, and working hard. Life may be hectic in this ongoing pandemic world, and it’s understandable if your world still feels turned upside down.
No matter what the reason, you MUST take self-care off the back burner and make it a priority in your life. Let’s talk about why.
What is Self-Care to You?
What does self-care currently look like for you? Is it when you give yourself (or go get) a pedicure or a manicure? When you get your hair done or you take a bubble bath? When you make time to read, is it self-care? Yes! It is all self-care. But if you look at the pattern, we often see and think about self-care based on actions. We tend to see self-care as something we do that's outside of ourselves. There’s nothing wrong with that, because it is a part of self-care. But that’s actually a limited view. If that’s what self-care is to you, then there’s room to dive into exploring greater depths of what self-care looks like.
What Self-Care Really Is
NOURISHMENT – that’s what self-care really is. That’s the heart of it. But really, how do you nourish yourself?
When you see self-care as nourishment, you are seeing it beyond just actions. Of course, those actions are still important but what really matters most is the rest of that space. Nourishing yourself is having that sense of worthiness and entitlement to create the space to give all parts of yourself what you need. When you nourish yourself, you are connecting to the truth of who you are and what you require, making the time and space to value the importance of self-care and the need for nourishment.
Here is a simple process of nourishing yourself through exploring your inner needs:
Feel What’s Really Present
Sometimes, you might not have the time and attention to connect with what you need. When you are upset about something or having a problem, do you take a moment and consider taking care of it? Nourishment is also letting yourself feel; giving yourself permission to feel the entire emotion, even if that emotion is “bad.”
Why do you need to feel bad?
When you feel bad or feel sad, you are taking yourself to deep soul nourishment. Nourishment is giving yourself permission to get past the surface emotions to let those deeper emotions flow and come out. When you get to this stage of nourishment, you are setting yourself free of the toxic patterns of suppressing your emotions and you are empowering yourself to fully feel and deal with whatever comes up for you. THAT is true power.
Honor the Feeling
Now that you are feeling bad and you allowed it, the next thing you need to do is to make a decision. What are you going to do about it? Sometimes, when we get to the point where we have to do something about the stuff that doesn't feel good, we keep it, push it down, and distract ourselves. We are avoiding it by keeping ourselves busy with other things. That is not healthy at all.
True self-care - true nourishment to yourself and to your soul - is getting to that part where you have to make hard decisions in life. Allowing yourself to feel bad and exposing those parts that are struggling, you're giving that part of you the attention it is asking for. The way you move THROUGH it is to honor the feeling and allow it to pass THROUGH you. When your deeper feelings get the attention it needs, those parts become visible to you and you are able to work through them. And sometimes they will pass just having had the opportunity to have finally been expressed!
So you see what’s been needing your attention, what kind of approach will you take to deal with it? What is that deeper part of you asking for?
Self-care is taking care of the parts of yourself that need it the most. You need to keep in mind that self-care is giving the nourishment that your mind, body, and soul’s needs. This can show up in many different ways. Do you need to cry, sleep, move your body. or maybe even just have a deep belly scream (can I tell you how powerful screaming can be!)? Whatever you need, give yourself BOLD PERMISSION to do what your soul needs! Honoring our deepest desires is not only healing, but it keeps you in alignment as your whole, authentic and powerful self. There is no worse feeling than walking around not being true to who you really are and what you really need!
Other Types of Nourishing Self-Care
Honor Your Voice
When was the last time you allowed yourself to say “no” to the things that don’t sit right with you? When was the last time you allowed yourself to say “no” to your spouse, partner, kids, family, co-workers, boss…anyone? Speaking up for yourself is self-care. You are nourishing yourself by simply saying something and not doing anything. Simply saying “No” is self-care. Sometimes, by saying “no” to others, you are saying “YES” to yourself.
Dream Big and Own It!
When you nourish yourself, you are allowing yourself to want more than what you currently have – not more objects and things, but more in life. You are allowing yourself to want to have bigger dreams. It tells you to do something about those dreams that have been percolating inside. That's deep nourishment! And there is no greater joy than turning your dreams into reality, just making them happen. You don’t have to make big steps to own what you really want in life. Small, simple, consistent steps are enough.
Self-Care Amidst the Pandemic
We are all physically living in a transformed state. Whether you are still at home or navigating the world, the pandemic has given us a new perspective on life. We are changing the way we work. We are changing the way we live. We are changing the way we socialize and connect to our loved ones and community. We are making adjustments to our daily habits and rituals.
True nourishment amidst the pandemic is looking at ways to give your life and your future a tweak to be able to survive and thrive. It is directing your life to make it extraordinarily bigger, better, and bolder. It’s a simple tweak, but definitely big because you are on a journey of knowing self-care and its true meaning. You are moving from self-care being an action to self-care being nourishment to your soul’s desires.
True Self-Care allows you to explore so many other different parts of yourself, give attention to your struggling parts, and deal with them. It helps you unlock other possibilities you could take on in your life. It’s a major shift in thinking that allows you to live life truly on your own terms.
So, what do you think? How do you nourish yourself? Where do you think are parts of you that are struggling and really need true self-care?
If you need help in getting to that next level of nourishment and seeing and exploring how to get there and identifying what has kept you from getting there, check out the new program that I am now offering - The HER Evolution!
Sending big LOVE!